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The illoz Orioles
posted: October 14, 2012

Say hello to the illoz Orioles!

Each year, illoz.com sponsors a team for WNC Fall Baseball, and this year, it's an irresistible group of four to six year olds playing the great game of T-Ball.

For those unfamiliar with the game of T-Ball, it's basically baseball except that there's never a dull moment and the players may from time-to-time chase the ball into the outfield after hitting it  instead of going to first base. Also, outfielders may opt to have a tea party in the grass, ignoring balls that may be rolling by at any given time.
One other difference between T-Ball and the game of baseball you might watch on TV or take in at the ball park is that parents of the players can sometimes have mental break-downs or begin to show signs similar to that of contracting a nasty case of Rabies in which foaming at the mouth can be seen, and in worst case scenarios, symptoms of Tourretes syndrome can also be detected in which uncontrolled vocalizations can occur.

Since  I can not afford to build my own ball park in which parents are not allowed, for the past six years or so I've volunteered to be commissioner of the league, which means I'm at the ball park each night and all day on Saturday, kindly reminding parents who are suffering from the afore mentioned afflictions that they are not adding to the fun and they need to shut up, sit down and let the kids play.
Sometimes the coaches forget about that word 'play' as well and misinterpret the team as a miniature army that needs to be marched into battle. From time-to-time it's necessary to remind coaches that the game could just as easily go on without them. Fortunately, this doesn't happen very often. I hand-pick all coaches based on one thing: If I like them.

Happy to report that the Orioles won exactly ONE game in twelve this season and the kids didn't even know the difference. Thanks to everyone at illoz who make this happen!
14 comments
Scott Bakal October 14, 2012
Ahhh! The yearly update! I'm glad the kids are having fun - sounds like you're having a blast too! Hope to see you around soon!
Ellen Weinstein October 14, 2012
Great, Zimm. Love seeing these updates and knowing my hard earned Illoz money is going to good use.
Marc October 14, 2012
Zimm, you're a natural for this job and I know the kids feel they've got an advocate in you. I'm equally sure the parents find their inner zen when you walk up for some bleacher therapy. Thanks for keeping the team spirit alive!
Brian Stauffer October 14, 2012
Am I the only one who can see the vicious inner competitive core that so clearly lays beneath the saccarin-sweet facade of these victory-at-all-costs competitors? They are fooling no one. GO DRAWGS!
Rob Dunlavey October 14, 2012
Commissioner Zimm: thanks for putting it all in perspective! Anyone want to meet in the outfield for a tea party??
Jody Hewgill October 15, 2012
Kudos to you Zimm, the role of a commissioner is a tough one. I love these photos, they're adorable, I want that pink helmet.
Stephen Kroninger October 15, 2012
Hilarious post, Robert. Those kids game faces are priceless. Pure fun.
Paul Rogers October 15, 2012
Love knowing there's an Illoz team. I saw a Little League game once that had the coach telling the pitcher to roll four balls to walk a kid because he was afraid the catcher wouldn't catch the ball. A sad day for baseball.
Harry October 15, 2012
1 and 12, I think that was my record coaching 9-10 a few years back. T ball is the best, I've coached that, all fun, well mostly. I agree with you on parents and coaches, it's what has pretty much caused me to abandon kids sports altogether, or at least coaching.
Harry October 15, 2012
1 and 12, I think that was my record coaching 9-10 a few years back. T ball is the best, I've coached that, all fun, well mostly. I agree with you on parents and coaches, it's what has pretty much caused me to abandon kids sports altogether, or at least coaching.
Richard Downs October 15, 2012
Robert, Your continued support of youth baseball is really nice. good job.
Adam McCauley October 15, 2012
Go Orioles!!
Robert Hunt October 19, 2012
Go Orioles!
Robert Hunt October 19, 2012
Go Orioles!